PL-55-857 Mr. Madam—Confessions of a Male Madam
Mr. Madam
Confessions of a Male Madam
Paperback Library
PL-55-857
Kenneth Marlowe
$0.95
Mr. Madam
Confessions of a Male Madam
Paperback Library
PL-55-857
Kenneth Marlowe
$0.95
Foreword
LOVE IS A LONELY WORD. I’ve spent a lifetime of being terribly lonely. But, ah, the front. I never admitted it to anyone. By cutting up, clowning around, being the main attraction, I surrounded myself with people, and who would have thought I was lonely? It was easy to keep people around me, keep them laughing. Surrounded by people and I was an island of want. Lonely?
When I started writing this I thought, WHY? I wondered just how much I could tell and how to say the truth without hurting other people. Well, the only way to write is to be honest.
Only a few names had to be changed to protect those people in my life who are non-professionals. All the places are real, and the incidents are factual. I found that, in the meaning of the limits of good taste, it was necessary to turn the burners down rather than stir the pot and enlarge anything. There wasn’t an ounce of embellishment necessary. All I had to do was tell what and how it happened.
This then is the progression of my experiences. Some of it exciting, some of it fun, some of it sordid and seamy, and all of it honest. Regrets?
I always felt cheated in life for two reasons. Being a homosexual, there’s the complex struggle to keep the sexual side hidden from friends and acquaintances so they’ll accept you; and being cheated by love.
Because I never had an honest, lasting love, I searched throughout my life for fleeting moments of satisfaction. I grasped love where I found it—hustling, whoring, operating. Love was a big dirty word, and I’m still looking, still searching.
When I was the most successful B-drink hustler in the business, it was because of loneliness. When I got someone to buy me a drink I thought they were doing it because they liked me. It meant an expression of affection, of love. If you spend money on me, you love me. It filled the minute, and I accepted that for love.
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